Note to Self
.
If you’ve never doubted the integrity of your
superiors or their right to demand your obedience
nor felt the sting of wishing for something that
could not be found on department store shelves
or voting ballots –
If you’ve never fallen so deeply in love that it
seemed that you had been sleep walking through life
until that moment –
never daydreamed desperately
in a board meeting or on the job
never been carried away by extremities of emotion while
everyone around you remained unmoved and oblivious –
If you’ve never suspected that real life
must be elsewhere
somewhere beyond the shopping malls and the suburbs
off the highway
over the fields and oceans –
If there is no part of you unfulfilled by
stock options and prime time programming and
cutting edge digital technology –
then perhaps these poems are not for you
.
Wage Slave
.
Almost every member of my
extended family —
grandparents, parents,
aunts, uncles, cousins —
were wage laborers
in the Old Country and the New
World they mined coal,
hauled steel, labored on construction
sites and as office secretaries,
served the wealthy as domestic
workers, clerked in company
stores, cleaned offices and homes,
took in laundry, even danced topless
in Vegas floorshows —
I joined the work force at 15 and have
been at it ever since, working
as a dish washer, fry cook, telemarketer,
movie extra, baby sitter,
movie projectionist, serigrapher, artist’s model,
landscape hand, proof reader, ESL teacher,
program manager, magazine editor, executive
director of a venerable arts non-profit –-
And now, in old age I’m
washing dishes again —
.
Los Judíos Sefardíes Regresan
I
It is hard to imagine, standing at the top of La Rambla,
in the multicolored swirl of over dressed tourists, Mexican hats and Antonio Gaudí paraphernalia,
that I’m walking with my aunt and uncle, my cousins, recently returned from living in Mexican exile
to observe Yom Kippur this October 10, 1978
and that it was here in Barcelona on 19 July 1936 that
the opening shots were fired in what was to become the Spanish Civil War
II
October 5, 1938 Yom Kippur is celebrated in Barcelona
January 29, 1939 Barcelona falls to the fascists
May 1, 1940 the “Jewish Archive” is established
And the abbreviation “AJ” appears in the records of Jewish citizens
“Se le supone la peligrosidad propia de la raza judía (sefardita)”
The word “Jew” would be written in red ink on permits issued to Spanish Jews
And Spain’s synagogues are shuttered
III
Sephardic Jews, who, since their ancestors were expelled from Spain in 1492
Spread through the centuries in a wide diaspora –
to the Ottoman Empire and the south of Italy;
to Spain’s colonies in Central and South America;
and to outposts in what are now New Mexico, Texas and Mexico
while some continued to live an underground existence in their Spanish motherland
The first Republican government of 1871 permitted the free practice of religion
The Sepharadim opened their synagogues
And the 1934 Republican government allowed an immigration reform
which opened the door to descendants of Sephardic Jews
After four decades of centralizing, Catholicizing Francoism
The new democratic government once again allowed freedom of religion
And the synagogues reopened
IV
I walk with my relatives to this synagogue
One of 5 medieval synagogues still remaining
Against my will tears flow when I put on my keepah as I step through the entrance door–
V
The core values of Yom Kippur–
repentance of my own sins against humanity and forgiveness of those who have sinned against me –
resonate really deeply for me in this synagogue
I have a lot of repentance and forgiveness to do, and I’ll be mindful of that
Some rabbis describe Yom Kippur as the day you look out from the top of the mountain
you’ve been climbing all year, can see your life from that perspective,
and have the chance to make changes and become a better, more human person–
I’ll aim for that
Love to you all.
—
BIO: Richard Modiano is a native of Los Angeles. From 2010 to 2019, he served as Executive Director of Beyond Baroque Literary/Arts Center. In that time, he produced and curated hundreds of literary events. Richard is a rank and file member of the Industrial Workers of the World. In 2019 he was elected Vice President of the California State Poetry Society. The Huffington Post named him as one of 200 people doing the most to promote poetry in the United States. His poetry collection The Forbidden Lunch Box, is forthcoming from Punk Hostage Press.
